Mothers Who Cry…Then Decide to Laugh
Mother’s Day will be here May 12th.
Mothers all over the U.S. will look at that day in different ways. There are so many memories in just the word “MOTHER”….like giving birth…(oh, that was fun!) and taking on a new role in life. There were the adjustments to constant care of this little one. Some face this with better grace than others, but somehow it happens.
We begin to see this little crying, burping person become a personality all his/her own. It has always amazed me how children who had the same parents, fed the same food, given the same of most everything…can be so different. Another thing that amazes me now is when I see a Mother who has a 14 month old toddler and a new-born…juggling both…and yet, that is exactly what I did when I had my two oldest sons. (Talk about “super human”!)
After bringing three children into the world, I remember my neighbor telling me that one of my sons was “up a tree….in the very top! “ He would also be the one who would fly jets after he grew up. He would also be the one to break my heart…but that is another story. Mothers who think they are doing all the right things…or mostly…and find that there are some parts of life that crying is the only way to mend the heart….so that they can once again laugh. I have come to believe that it is a decision we make because life does move on. Who wants to cry all their lives? Even medicine tells us that “laughter” is a cure. Nevertheless, it doesn’t mean that hearts don’t ache now and then. Control of a situation is one thing that is not built into being a mother’s life. It may be something we want, but we find that “Letting go” is much harder.
My other son ,who was not in the tree with his brother, was sitting quietly in a corner reading a stack of library books we went to get each week. He still reads or listens to books as he travels around the world in his job. I’m proud of the man he has grown to be with patience that astonishes me at times. He has never seen a stranger with friends around the world. My step-son, another fine man, has given us two beautiful twin girls and we have joy in seeing them grow and thrive.
We often hear that Fathers and Sons bond over common interests. I think that is true, if there is a father in the home. If not, they often find a father-figure that they can emulate. Being a mother to a daughter can have the same bonding effect. Learning how to be a female is complicated at best.
We, Mothers, may worry more about our daughters. Why? Because with boys, we feel that they can take care of most things that hit them in the world….like the day the bully on the school bus kept hitting my oldest son on the head. He finally just turned around and gave him a punch. Needless to say, when my school was called (as I was a teacher), I knew that he was suspended off the bus…but the bully would not bother him again.
With a girl, we worry that someone will take advantage of her. She might need more protection but with the right amount of freedom. She will grow up and have her own hard knocks and sorrows in life that we could not protect her from. In most cases, she will learn how to “stand up” for herself!
My daughter is my creative one looking for new ideas to make things better. She will always make her own decisions, whatever they may be, because just as I did not like my mother telling me what to do…neither does she. I think we call that “the chip off the old block”. Yet, I find myself still watching the ceiling some nights …and praying…and trying really hard to give all things to God. That is how we mothers do for all our children. We cry…but as I said it is best when we decide to laugh. Somehow, I think God would have it that way.
One must not forget the Grandmothers, who so often today raise the children they did not bring into the world. They give the love that a child may be without unless the Grandmother cared.
My mother, who died at 93, was one of those Grandmothers who gave generously to her grandchildren and I will always thank her for that. I hope for all the tears she may have cried that she is in heaven laughing …for she deserves it.
The big, beautiful sunflower at the top of the page is for all Mothers…. new mothers; mothers with teens; empty-nest mothers and grand-mothers. They will need you and they will cling to you….until they don’t. Rejoice in what you were and may their world be a better place because you were their MOTHER.