It has been hard to sit down and write. In fact, weeks have gone by and I felt writing was nearly impossible.
Why did I feel this way? I lost a person I love…my Mother. It was not until I ran my hand through the curl on her head and saw the open mouth that had tried to breathe her last that I realized that she was gone. In my heart of hearts, I knew it was only her body. Perhaps in those few short moments after she stopped breathing, she was floating above the room as some have said in their near death experiences Perhaps she was just no longer here and had already seen that wonderful light that is of total peace…pulling her into eternity to meet her Savior and those whom she had loved that went before.
I did not know, but the only Mother I had in all the world was gone. The Holy Bible tells us that to be ” absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.” It is odd how one does not think of death as something that will come. We know it, but it is a realty that we can not actually grasp until it happens.
My mother lived a long life of 93 years. She was ready to meet her Maker. This is my personal blessing. For those who lose a child or a younger person, this must be wrenching pain. No one will understand until they walk in those shoes.
In the weeks that have passed, I have had time to reflect…to handle and touch the things that belonged to her. She was a woman of the World War II era who knew sacrifices and rationing of goods. Even though she had down-sized to some extent, so much was kept because one “may not know when it would be needed.” A lesson that most generations to follow have not learned.
I have never been a crier. How strange that now my emotions seem right on the surface. It is the little things…like a note that she used in the assisted living to record her hourly blood pressure for the nurses. Why would that bring me to tears? I don’t know.
Loss is an experience. It is part of life. We do not want to walk through it, but we must. I now better understand the meaning of some of the most familiar verses of the Holy Scriptures: ” Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for Thou art with me; Thy rod and Thy staff they comfort me…” (23rd Psalm) She walked through that valley and someday I will have to also.
My prayer for her had been that God would take her in a peaceful manner. This prayer was answered. I had sat in the hospital with her as she ate her dinner. She said she felt tired and wanted to leave the chair and go back to bed. Helping her with this, I told her that I had to leave for a few minutes to take my husband, who had been sick for several days, to the hospital emergency room. She said she was going to sleep. This she did and her heart came to a slow stop.
Dying grace was given. A prayer had been answered. Perhaps “…it was like the close of a long, bright day, when th sun goes down without a cloud, and parting rays are cast up against the sky.”
A prayer for all who will die
“Lord grant that I may slip away
As slips the night into the day;
So softly that those watching can only say
Here ends the night and there begins the day.”
Scriptures for the soul and for those left to live life
Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation…. Trust in him at all times… (Psalm 62:5-8)
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)
Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42:5)
There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. (Proverbs 23:18
But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, … (1 Peter 1:3-5)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. …(Hebrews 12:1-3)