After much confinement and trying to teach children at home during the Pandemic, most of my readers who are parents or have grandchildren, whom they rarely see, are excited about the possibility of getting back on track with school and education.
Some families are choosing to take things slowly with a “wait and see” attitude…continuing home schooling or online teaching…while others will be relieved to see the big, yellow bus come their way. We ask prayers for any bus driver who will have to enforce “distancing” and “mask wearing!” Everyone, however, is eager to get back to “normal”…or whatever “normal” may be!
As parents gives last minute instructions, they may be saying things like “Be sure to wear your mask and don’t get too close to anyone!” Good luck on that happening. No, it hasn’t been easy all these months and the problems that will arise will be new and varied. I can only imagine the stress parents have been under because my children are all grown and out on their own…trying to make a living, like everyone else. Parenting is a new challenge. God bless them everyone!!
Having been surrogate teachers, Moms and Dads might make this comment: “At least, the teacher, who is educated in higher math, science and history will be able to do a far better job than those of us who never intended to teach these subjects. After all, I work in the restaurant business, drive a truck, stock shelves… or work as a bank teller for a living. My child just didn’t know how to interact me or with a teacher on a screen…especially my little kindergarten child.”
Well, Dear Reader, if you are looking for relief, this blog post may not give you very much because we are going to consider the new concepts of learning that your child will encounter when you wave “goodbye and have a nice day!” You will find that there is a bias that runs deep within most school systems.
If you want your child to have the best learning experience possible and you can’t afford a private or Christian school that has a fantastic reputation for learning, what are you to do? What exactly are most schools around the country deciding for you what is the correct approach to teaching your beautiful child? Here are some big questions that might have never crossed your mind.
How will they learn?
What will their minds be filled with that you may not agree with?
How will you counter those things as a parent?
Let’s talk curriculum and learning!
The curriculum established in a school is the heart of what is to be learned in the classroom, along with social interaction. I speak as an educator, who knows quite a lot on this subject because of my many years of teaching students and supervising other teachers. CREATIVITY in teaching was my strength. It is what I believe to be the joy of teaching for most excellent teachers. This freedom is fading away…and in some cases…COMPLETELY GONE.
It appears that the changes in “how and what to teach” that is being forced upon teachers in education today are laced with ulterior motives. Through teacher in-service training, the fast- changing rules and regulations are taking place… and they WILL effect your child.
Each year there are teachers who leave the profession because they are not being allowed to creatively teach…as one more rule and regulation is added to how they are to teach the student’s curriculum. They know if they are to keep their jobs, their hands are tied and they worry about what the student is actually learning or being indoctrinated academically. The ability for a student to find solutions to problems, looking at both sides of an issue and in general…learning about critical thinking is not being stressed. How much debate is allowed in the High Schools or Middle Schools is “debatable.” Students are also concerned about being called names if they don’t take the popular positions espoused by news media and more. Every teen wants to fit in…and it takes real courage to oppose the norm. Ask Jonathan Isaac, the young man who was highlighted in one of my previous blogs. He is an adult now, but somewhere in his youth, he had to learn to decide what was right for himself. He choose to stand during the National Anthem…even if he had to do it alone.
If you want your child to actually learn the major parts of our U.S. history, science and literature… and be well-rounded in the basic areas of learning, you may want to read Paula Enck’s interview with a teacher. She is writing this article to give parents and others in the world a heads up to what is happening in our American world of education.
Here, in part, are some of her eye-opening statements from the 4th grade teacher about her experience and what is being expected of other teachers:
A world without textbooks or homework and where getting the wrong answer is celebrated may sound like an elementary student’s dream, but if such a fantasy becomes a reality, it would damage a generation of young minds. That is, however, exactly what is happening in many public elementary schools.
Recently, I spoke with a fourth-grade teacher from the midwest, who shared her experience witnessing the shifting of curriculum from history and science towards overt political indoctrination, all to the detriment of students’ learning. To protect this person’s privacy, she will remain nameless.
In supervising fourth grade, she teaches a little bit of everything: math, reading, language arts, social studies, and science. Recently, her school district, like many others, switched to an “integrated curriculum.” On paper, an integrated curriculum sounds like a fair idea. Students learn subjects by exploring their intersections to deepen understanding. In practice, however, the curriculum all but eradicates history while working to push politics on impressionable children.
As the teacher reports, “It says ‘integrated curriculum,’ and some of its science, and some of its social studies but it really isn’t. It’s more of a push for the progressive movement.” Indeed, it’s a movement that has fundamentally altered her curriculum. As the school district’s new curricula are online, outsiders have the ability to dictate curriculum to teachers. The result? This teacher’s science and history classes were gutted...
History Deemed Expendable
(the interview continues) “I used to do a whole unit an Abraham Lincoln, and for some reason, it’s just all of that is gone, based on an integrated curriculum. When you look at our curriculum, they’ve removed everything that was in the textbook. They say, ‘Don’t use the textbook, and you don’t need to teach that anymore.’
Throwing Out Textbooks
This teacher’s district, like many others, has not just done away with history and science, but also textbooks in general. The frustrating part of being a teacher in elementary grades is that they have no foundational skills. The textbooks that were used went through the different states and regions, the government, Abraham Lincoln… As far as studying history, we kind of lost all of that because I was told, ‘Please discard all of your textbooks.’ … I asked why over and over and over again and was told that we now have an integrated curriculum, so do not use textbooks.
Ditching all books for computers teaches students to disregard the information that can be found in books, the teacher noted. Instead, they are being taught that everything can and should be learned online. Despite this push towards the internet, the students are not taught how to evaluate online sources for accuracy. In youth and inexperience, it can be easy to mistake a valid source of historical or scientific facts with a poor alternative. This is a recipe for ill-prepared children armed with a legion of bad facts.
Values in teaching history
The kids are missing out on learning why there was a civil war in the first place. They don’t learn the true meaning of slavery and how it got resolved because it’s just disappeared from the curriculum.
The only thing I can teach in social studies was a little bit of government. There wasn’t anything anymore about the Civil War; that was completely gone...I spoke to a friend, who’s a fifth-grade teacher, and her Revolutionary War unit was gone. She used to do a great job on the colonists of America.
Science Replaced With Propaganda
Before the integrated curriculum began, this teacher engaged her students in an array of scientific studies. In the new curriculum, however: My last unit of teaching was just a long unit on petroleum and how bad it was. It would talk about oil spills. We’d have an experiment that kids have to mix tempera paint and oil to simulate an oil spill, so when that happened, the kids would see how awful it was on plants and animals. In reality, these are few and far between, where we have oil spills and causing great damage. But they take something that was awful happened back in history, we’ll take that and say, ‘This is why no one should ever use oil or gas.’ They’re trying to tell the kids that you are bad if you think that you should drive a car or a school bus without it being with renewable energy.
I’m teaching renewable energy in the 4th grade and feeling that is there should be a debate on it, and it should be taught both ways. Instead, it’s video after video after video how we killed animals, how it’s bad for the environment. It’s one-sided education instead of the time for debate.
That is what it’s really changed in the elementary school year. It’s a one-sided script. Science class under this curriculum mandate is not science, but political propaganda. Students have lost out on foundational skills that would benefit them greatly in middle and high school...
They’re not looking at the different levels of electricity. They’re not looking at anything about the water cycle. It’s all in the electronics area or it’s always on the Internet. Nothing is about reading a book and learning about following directions anymore… Science is taught in a very progressive manner. No longer the kids ever going to see a textbook in schools. It’s called ’21st-century learning’ so therefore without a textbook now...
Beloved Projects on the Chopping Block
It was so much fun doing state reports. Now, sadly to say, I’m told not to, because there’s no time for it. That it would be a waste of time. It was probably the best thing about 4th grade. They say, ‘What are you doing, teaching states? Why are you letting the kids do a state report?’ I said, ‘It’s reading, it’s writing, it’s research.’ There is so much to learn, and now I’m not allowed to do that because of the integrated curriculum.
These state projects were not just social studies. They taught kids valuable research and communication skills. The cross-section of skills that coalesced into a beloved annual tradition is how an integrated curriculum should function. Now it’s gone, and so is the teacher’s ability to be creative in working with her students.
(Boyer Writes note: As an educator, before my retirement, I taught a number of grades in both elementary and middle school. 5th grade was my favorite where I was able to do exciting things to enhance the curriculum required. We learned in Social Studies about the Constitution, History of American wars fought, the Emancipation Proclamation that freed the slaves, and had one on one interviews with World War II veterans and Holocaust Survivors. The students took notes, wrote a report about their conversations and presented them, as a public speaking exercise, to the class. A teacher friend told me…”No more planting a Victory Garden or doing those things for we must be on the same page and chapter in every classroom. There is no time.”)
Parents None the Wiser
With the removal of important foundational skills and basic subjects, one would think the school district parents would be up-in-arms about the schools’ curriculum shift. Conservative parents especially should be fighting the school’s attempted indoctrination of their children. However, they are unable to have opinions on their children’s education, because they have no idea what’s happening.
The parents don’t know what’s going on because it’s all at school. We hardly give homework anymore…. I just disagree with a lot of things, but they keep it in school so that the parents don’t have to worry. The parents question very little and they just assume the teacher knows what they’re doing.
With limited homework, parents lack a window into what is being taught to their children. Likewise, the students are losing an important aspect of early education — drilling foundational subjects, like basic math, in order to better understand in the future.
Getting the Wrong Answer…and Growth Mindset
The in-school application of a so-called “growth mindset” actually keeps students from learning and growing. The way of teaching is to get them to get the answer first, and then some of the kids won’t know how they got there because they’re always in a group setting. We have to work together. We’re always talking about cooperative learning. I feel that too much cooperative learning now. We don’t have the skill base anymore.
We test them, but by the time we’ve tested them, they really have never learned anything in the first place. We know they’re at the bottom and they stay at the bottom because nobody sitting there saying, ‘Well let’s just skill and drill.’ They’ve left out all the basic skills. They left out drills. No longer can a teacher do things like math flashcards, because that’s not acceptable. Some principals think that that would belittle the children if they see that they’re not getting their math facts fast.
… ‘We can’t identify the kids that are low achievers.’ So they try to pretend that that’s why we need cooperative learning. Just give the answer. Don’t let them say the wrong answer and feel bad about it.
They come up with this new math, and just say, ‘Getting the wrong answer is good because that helps your brain grow.’ So we’ve got this growth mindset, which is fine but we’re really allowing kids to get wrong answers and not be curious about how do we get to this right. The fear of belittling or saddening students is directly keeping them from learning and thriving academically.”
School should be a happy experience for all students. The greatest complement to a teacher is when a parent says, “My child just can’t wait to get to school.” It is then that a teacher knows she or he is doing something right. Learning is taking place because the child loves coming to school to be able to learn.
There could be some sad days at school. It is going to be part of human kind that some students will try to bully other children. Perhaps they also experience this in their own home. In these situations, the teacher must have a close connection with all students and be on top of any concerns that keeps a student from enjoying school, learning or being a target of any other student. Real learning can only be achieved in this atmosphere. There has to be proper discipline for learning to take place. It is the beginning of the child’s understanding about the real world.
Teaching values to children should also be a part of every grade-level curriculum. This does not mean religious training, unless in a religious school, but simple every-day living values of honesty, sportsmanship, caring, empathy and more. A parent should know that this is also part of the curriculum. After all, social interaction is part of going to school…everything from being polite to a classmate to the janitor who cleans the building.
As has been mentioned, Teachers should be able to be as creative as possible while achieving with their students the curriculum goals. This will mean juggling the curriculum to help those who don’t have as strong foundation as other children. The children who are accelerated in their learning should not be held back with those unable to keep up. This will lead to boredom and a slow-down in what they are able to achieve. To think that all children learn equally is a complete falsehood. No shoe fits all. To try to make the curriculum one way is not only foolish, but totally irresponsible. Only an excellent teacher, who is unbridled by the authorities in her teaching abilities, will be able to accomplish the best achievement for all students. If they are not able to do this, they should find a job elsewhere. Keeping poor teachers on year after year is a disgrace to the educational system. The Teacher’s Union should not stand in the way of a dismissal when it is in the best interest of the child.
Principals and Academic supervisors play a great part in choosing the correct curriculum within their schools. A good Principal is worth his or her weight in gold if they give the teachers the opportunity to express their individual teaching style. One wonders how people, with great authority in decision making for students, get into these positions. It has a simple answer… Often IT IS POLITICAL.
Sometimes it is the supervisors, unions, or national or state educational groups who want to plant their seeds in the schools to fit their agenda. We must not forget that training the young minds for the future can be the downfall of a country. One example of political power is the push to rid the system of charter schools, which are making a contribution to the specific education needs of our children. Much of this is assertion of power or personal ladder climbing at the expense of our children. Should I say more?
During new regulations concerning the virus, parents may not have as much leeway to enter classrooms in order to observe the kind of atmosphere and learning that is taking place in the classroom. Regular conversations, however, between a parent and child about what is being taught in the classroom is essential. In doing so, a parent will get a sense if their child is experiencing a joy for learning. They will know if he or she is learning to think on their own and are gaining an understanding of the history that has made America strong and other countries collapse. It is essential that they learn the difference between Democracy and ideologies such as Communism. This will be a crucial life-skill needed in the their future.
Those agreeing with “Cancel-Culture” wants to change the date of the Founding of our nation from 1776 to 1619 to reflect the timeline that slaves were brought to America instead of the time the Declaration of Independence was signed. This is called the 1619 Project (Jake Silverstein of the New York Times) In reaction to this is what Cabot Phillips wrote in his article:
“…We must not stand idly by while our education system is hijacked, and our children misled and brainwashed to hate our nation instead of loving it.Last month, Sen. Tom Cotton, R-Ark., proposed a bill that would prevent federal funds from being used to teach the 1619 Project in public schools. Bold steps like this must be taken, and Americans must demand a say in what’s being taught in our schools. Without action, our education system will continue to indoctrinate students with anti-American propaganda, and future generations will think our culture and way of life is nothing worth preserving.”
As mentioned previously, the proposals for changing the curriculum of K-12 and College is changing faster that anyone can imagine. Be alert, parents, and do your best to protect your children. Remember, YOU are the greatest teacher that your child will ever have. Most will emulate your thoughts and beliefs. Let them know what you believe is right for them to know and understand. It will not be enough to leave their education and their future in someone else’s hands.
Blessings for this new school year. It may be different, but may it a great one! Boyer Writes
Our minds are a controlling factor to our emotions, critical thinking and ultimately…our actions. It has come to my attention recently that we are rarely in control of our minds…even if there are millions of cells making up our every thought. By the very nature of our modern society, we are allowing this. Why is it that we should give over to others to program into us what our minds will retain? Am I saying that we should “stick our heads in the sand?” Not at all. We do, however, have choices.
We are influenced by what we hear and see. Most every household has a TV that is turned on hours upon hours of the day. People who are alone, especially the elderly, use the TV to give them company. Depression can set in rapidly in these cases.
The people who spend much of their time watching and listening much of what is programmed today are allowing themselves to be conditioned into a type of mind control. A steady dose of truths…or lies are being filtered into our brains that are becoming part of our very being.
What was it like before TV?
A city life in past history would be filled with noises, the smell of the deli down the street, a woman hanging out her clothes from a window, as she calls to a neighbor on the street. The loading and unloading of produce or goods for the stores would fill the air with noise. A person would move around these things, filtering out what they wanted to be around or what they wanted to hear. Life could get tough in a crowd, but this would be the learning of “street smarts.”
In the country, a person may get up early to milk the cow. A mother starts making her bread and encouraging a young one to do their chores. Life would surround a person with the clinging of the cow bells, the birds in the trees and the cat or dog that moved around the barn. Life was simple and calm.
When the industrial revolution hit our world, many things changed. People moved out of the country to find good jobs. Life became more complicated and people were on the move. Almost everything became a faster pace. The automobile was invented…and the wife/mother moved from baking bread to the TV dinner. Basically, life would never be the same.
Ships and airplanes moved us around the world. Our sense of security was shattered as enemies became not only domestic, but foreign. Our minds and hearts were broken with two world wars and continued fighting around the globe throughout the decades. Fear had become a mind set…as it continues today.
The mind has a hard time catching up when it is inundated with other people’s beliefs to what we should be and do. The real term is propaganda and we fall for it. We are made to feel less of a person if we disagree with the norm. Our young people “can’t live” without the best kind of shoes or cell phone. God never intended for us to store all these thoughts of inadequacy in this great gift He has given mankind. The mind is an incredible thing. We may feel like we have no control over everyday life that enters its billion cells, but we do have to a great extent.
This may be the primary reason that we will have to make decisions for ourselves. We can CHOOSE to turn off the TV more hours of the day. It may also be a time where we deliberately look for uplifting stories or documentaries that give us encouragement rather than despair. It is really our choice, but we are addicted. Why do I say “addicted?”
Just try to change the routine that you have become accustomed to for year after year. It is hard to make a change, but your mind and emotions may be saved grief, depression and more if you decide to make some changes. I speak from experience.
It is only natural to want to tune in to who has committed the most damage in one of our big cities…how many more cases of virus are killing our people…or what is happening in politics? It all is becoming TOO MUCH! Our minds are tired.
It is only natural also for families to use TV…with all its junk as a babysitter. Just think what those little minds and hearts are absorbing!
A doctor friend told me recently that he tuned in with his toddler to one of the kid’s programs on TV and saw that even tiny children are being indoctrinated about sexual life styles as being just fine. Isn’t a parent suppose to decide what is good for their child? He was shocked…as should be all parents who take the time to pay attention. The young mind is eager to absorb.
So what do we do? We first of all must be deliberate in our decision making for ourselves and our families.
I remember something I noticed while visiting a family one time years ago. There was a teenage son…or perhaps early teens…who was sitting and reading. I asked his mother what he was doing and she said that he was suppose to read a chapter in Holy Scripture each day before doing anything else. At the time, I thought that was a strict requirement. Yet, that parent was giving a young mind a discipline that perhaps he would follow the rest of his life. Whether he understood its importance at the time, may be questionable…but he was exposed to the commands of God for a good and happy life.
God has told us to raise up a child in the way that he/she will go and when they are old, they will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) For those who have tried to do this, we are praying and believing His promise. It may be that we will not know or even see the fulfillment in our lifetime. Yet, we can trust.
What actually does the Holy Scripture tells us about things that we find ourselves thinking about…perhaps over and over? We need comfort today and for the future…and here are a few words from God to give our minds just that:
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6,7
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6
Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
1 Peter 5:6-7
ABOUT GOD’S SPIRIT
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust.” For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his pinions, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness is a shield and buckler. You will not fear the terror of the night, nor the arrow that flies by day … Psalm 91:1-16
Today….look at nature in God’s beautiful world. See Him in the smile of a friend. Do something you love to do. Give your heart a fresh start in a new day that is only yours moment by moment. Your MIND is your gift from God…PROTECT IT.
Video: Turn up sound. Push red line back to start from beginning.
Very young children love to be read to and shown pictures…especially of animals. If there is a pet in the home or the family takes trips to the great outdoors, animals are always in the mix.
Our family dogs and cats give us love and attention and love is mostly what they crave …next to a big bowl of food.
All animals, domesticated or wild, feel better when they have a full tummy.
Food changes all moods…human and otherwise. This led me to think about how animal books could teach very young children how to behave. Parents, you will like this first in a series on “animal lessons” as you try to feed, put to bed or teach sharing with your child.
Here is my newest book for a little one that you may know…The Moody Musical Cat.
It wasn’t food that changed his behavior, but music. Surprise! Surprise!
Since you may be thinking of a book for your favorite person or a friend who may be interested in historical fiction or culture in the Blue Ridge Mountains, I am going to give you some shopping ideas from the books that I have written this year. They are all available on Amazon and if you act now, they will be to you before Christmas.
Click on book title for description and price
- THE SEEDS by N.W. Boyer (historical fiction)
- BLUE RIDGE PARKWAY BEAUTIES by N.W. Boyer
- OLD TIMERS of the BLUE RIDGE and MORE by N. W. Boyer
Children’s Books are also available. Great books for Grandparents to give or for parents to read with their children with questions for discussion at the end.
All children’s books by Nancy W. Boyer (for elementary students or early teens)
- CROOKED CREEK FIR TREE ( a Christmas story)
- WILLY THE WORM
- LINDA LONG LEGS
- ANNA and THE ATTIC
- RUNNING AWAY RITA
- BETTY BIG EARS
- TERRI TENNIS SHOES
- SARA STICKY FINGERS
- WAYS TO BE HAPPY FOR YOUNG PEOPLE (for very young children)
Many of my readers have been watching the hatching of baby eagles in Washington, D.C. They were little fuzz balls. Now they are teenagers. Oh, such an awkward age! Not so cute anymore as they were when they peeked out from under the parent eagle’s feathers.
© 2016 American Eagle Foundation, EAGLES.ORG
We know that if the parent eagles do not teach the little ones the lesson of soaring, they will forever act like a chicken, groveling in the dirt…never becoming what God intended for them to be. This is the lesson of life that all of us must learn…that we were meant to soar and so were our off-spring.
Once we have been liberated from a life of dependency, it is up to us how we spend the next years. The lesson that the parent eagles give to their young is one of “tough love”. The lesson is for the young eagles to learn what it feels like to be lacking in order to become independent. The parent eagles may soar around a nest with food that they, themselves had hard-earned through their own efforts. As cruel as it seems, they often do not offer any of it to their young, who are calling from the nest.
No, there are no cellphone connections to the lake where they were catching fish. “Mom (or Dad), can you loan me a few dollars? I’m really hungry up here.” No, the adult eagles don’t respond to such cries for they know that their little eaglets were meant to eventually fly on their own and find their own food…to glide and soar in the beautiful blue skies…to dive for their own fish or prey. They had to be taught and it seems that God has put into their existence the need to pass this lesson on to their growing eagles. (It appears that our Washington Eagles may be at this stage for there is no food in the nest as there used to be.)
We in the human world find these lessons hard to teach. Withholding is very difficult for us as parents. If withholding was never in the “academy of life’s lessons”, dependency would always be the way of life, as it would be for the eagles. It may be hard, but teaching young ones to soar will have its own rewards. That is because “We were Meant to Soar.”
The lives of eagles can teach us some important principles.
Explanation: The video below has some information that may be more of a myth than the truth. Below video is a link explaining the actual life or rebirth of an eagle. However, the video is a good comparison to life. (If the reading is too quick, put it on pause for a few seconds until continuing.)
Click to Watch the Washington Eagles
Cleaning out old files can be most enlightening. Perhaps ages ago, I copied a letter from a father to his child. He felt it was the best advice he could ever give because it had taken him practically a life time to learn.
I thought that since gift giving was over for the season that maybe there would be a reader who would like a “belated gift”. Below is a portion of the letter written by Harry, whose wisdom may be a new slant on our thinking. It could even save the lives of one in despair. I would suggest that every parent read this with a child who is old enough to understand…or send it off to those who are trying to find their place in this confusing world. (Thanks, Harry)
“…If I could give you just one thing. I’d want it to be a simple truth that took me many years to learn. If you learn it now, it may enrich your life in hundreds of ways. And it may prevent you from facing many problems that have hurt people who have never learned it. The truth is simply this:
No one owes you anything.
…It means that no one else is living for you, my child. Because no one is you. Each person is living for himself; his own happiness is all he can ever personally feel. When you realize that no one owes you happiness or anything else, you’ll be freed from expecting what isn’t likely to be.
It means that no has to love you. If someone loves you, it’s because there’s something special about you that gives him (or her) happiness. Find out what that something special is and try to make it stronger in you so that you’ll be loved even more.
When people do things for you, it’s because they want to__because you, in some way give them something meaningful that makes them want to please you, not because anyone owes you anything.
No one has to like you. If your friends want to be with you, it’s not out of duty. Find out what makes other happy so they want to be near you.
No one has to respect you. Some people may even be unkind to you. But once you realize that people don’t have to be good to you, and may not be good to you, you’ll learn to avoid those who would harm you. For you don’t owe them anything either.
…You owe it to yourself to be the best person possible. Because if you are, others will want to be with you, want to provide you with the things you want in exchange for what you’re giving to them.
Some people will choose not to be with you for reasons that have nothing to do with you. When that happens, look elsewhere for the relationships you want. Don’t make someone else’s problems your problems.
Once you learn that you must earn the love and respect of others, you’ll never expect the impossible and you won’t be disappointed. Others don’t have to share their property with you, nor their feelings or thoughts.
If they do, it’s because you’ve earned these things. And you have every reason to be proud of the love you receive, your friend’s respect, the property you’ve earned. But don’t ever take them for granted. If you do, you could lose them. They’re not yours by right; you must always earn them.
A great burden was lifted from my shoulders the day I realized that no one owes me anything. For so long as I’d thought there were things I was entitled to, I’d been wearing myself out…physically and emotionally trying to collect them.
No one owes me moral conduct, respect, friendship, love, courtesy or intelligence. And once I recognized that, all my relationships became far more satisfying. I’ve focused on being with people who want to do the things I want them to do. That understanding has served me well with friends, business associates, lovers, sales prospects and strangers. It constantly reminds me that I can get what I want only if I can enter the other person’s world. I must try to understand how he thinks, what he believes to be important, what he wants. Only then can I appeal to someone in ways that will bring what I want. And only then can I tell whether I really want to be involved with someone. I can save the important relationships for those with whom I have the most in common.
It is not easy to sum up in a few words what has taken me years to learn. Maybe if you re-read this gift each Christmas, the meaning will become a little clearer every year. I hope so for I want more than anything else for you to understand the simple truth that can set you free: No one owes you anything.”
It is my privilege to announce the 8th book in my Nanny Series. It is called Anna and the Attic. The entire book is based on the fears of a little girl and her visit to her Grandparents in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia. ( appropriate for ages 8-12) In our uncertain world, young people have many fears, real and imagined. We know the importance of good mental health and with each book I give parents, grandparents, teachers and other adults the opportunity to go over some thought-provoking questions.
Anna and the Attic is now available on amazon.com under the author’s name, Nancy W. Boyer. All the books in the series are listed here. It is my hope that it will meet the needs of young people everywhere.
I am happy to share with my readers a new book for young people.
Terri Tennis Shoes is the fifth in my Nanny Book Series. The purpose of this series is to help young people and their parents and teachers deal with problem areas of character development, self-esteem, and good decision-making. This is appropriate for those in grades 3-7. Questions for discussion are listed at the end of the story.
Terri Tennis Shoes and four others are available on Amazon (paperback or kindle)
Other books in the series: Linda Long Legs, Bobby Big Brain, Betty Big Ears, Morgan Monster
Thank you for looking. Any comments and reviews will be appreciated.
When you were born, you had a mother. She may have been a good mother who gave you the attention and love that you needed. For some, unfortunately, mothers do not always fit that description. A child has to fend for his/herself and try to make some sense of life.
For those who had mothers who said too many times:
- Be home on time
- Call me to let me know exactly where you are and who you are with
- Eat your vegetables
- Wash behind your ears and brush your teeth
- Calm down
- and much more
I am sure some of you paid no attention to this advice, but went your own way…or paid part-time attention to these words of wisdom. However, as we grow older, we realize that mother often was right about many things, whether we believed it or not at the time. She may have saved us from some problems…accidents…and more.
Recently, I saw a video which proves without a doubt that “Mama knows Best”. Even an animal knows when her little one is in danger….and will go to great lengths to save it from the dangers of the world… especially those made by man.
Thank you to Ricky Forbes who photographed this in the Kootenay National Park in British Columbia
The one National Holiday in the U.S.A that transcends all religious faiths…and simply says “Give Thanks” is being pulled away by the greed of America. That holiday is Thanksgiving. Blame it on the economy if one wants to…getting good buys etc…but there probably is no excuse. Those who work for the stores that open on Thanksgiving Day can hardly say that they won’t show up for work because they value family and tradition over their needed paycheck. Some have tried and have been fired. (as in the Pizza Hut manager)
Is Black Friday shopping not enough that a new word is being introduced for shopping on Thanksgiving as “Grey Thursday”? ( It even has a sad and dismal sound to the name.) Just how sad may be told by the story below multiplied by thousands.
The national news carried a story of a woman who had taken her daughter on Thanksgiving Day to a store….waited for hours to be one of the first in line…and finally fed a “Thanksgiving?” lunch to her little girl in the car. Her comment to the reporter was “I am doing it for her.” Doing what? At her young age, she is learning that shopping is more important than anything on our special day of Thanks here in America. Sad, abusive, crazy, ridiculous, unthinking….could be a few words to describe this form of parenting.
I can remember years when I was a single parent, with little income as a teacher, going to garage sales, starting back around Halloween, and finding the best Christmas gifts to wrap and put under the tree for my three children to have on Christmas morning.( Of course, Grandparents made up for some nice things as well.) The children always seemed happy and appreciative with their gifts. We know that the Holy Scriptures tell us in Proverbs 22:6 ” Direct your children onto the right path,and when they are older, they will not leave it.” This is true for our 2013 Thanksgiving when 10 happy people held hands , giving a word of thankfulness, and eating together around a table, that I can now afford, and sharing this time together with family and friends. Handing down tradition takes time and years that are not to be wasted fighting crowds and materialism with children…or for them.
Taryn Luna, of the Boston Globe, wrote “More frequently, anti-Thanksgiving-shopping advocates are making their views known through social media networks. Jordana Bishop of Raynham started a Facebook group called “Boycott Shopping on Thanksgiving Day.” The group’s page plays off Santa’s “naughty or nice” list by assigning retailers to one of the two categories based on whether they plan to be open or shut. Bishop said people should realize that when they patronize stores early, it means workers stocking shelves and manning registers are losing out….”
What is all this doing to employees? Ellen Galinsky also writes, “As a society, we’ve agreed that most of America’s workforce should have key holidays — in this case just one day — to be with family and friends, or just to take a breather from work. Holidays are also up there with vacation days as critical to keeping employees healthy and productive, more so than ever. Our research at the Families and Work Institute shows that the nation’s workforce is more stressed than ever, increasing significantly in recent years. Nearly one-third (32%) of employees report that their work has a primarily negative impact on their lives off the job by draining energy, so they don’t have enough left over for their personal and family life. Our research also shows that those who take vacations and holidays return to work more energized and productive…”
We ask the question…What decision will Americans make to save Thanksgiving now and for future generations? It is a decision…and a big one. Our culture and our society hangs on the decision each family member makes. We are a nation worried about violence, mental illness, terrorism…and how we react to these things may be as simple as our thankfulness, values and instead of greed….appreciation for all the things we are blessed with in this country.
Again, we decide. Should we make a list of places to avoid and “shop elsewhere”? Call it a boycott, if one wants to do so. It is up to us…the people…
Here is a helpful list of stores to consider when shopping for your holiday gifts:
Major retailers that did not open on this Thanksgiving 2013, but encouraged employees to be with family, include:
- Burlington Coat Factory
- Barnes & Noble
- Home Depot
- Radio Shack
- Sam’s Club
- TJ Maxx
Stores that DID stay open on Thanksgiving…in case you want to “boycott”.
(compiled by Hayley Peterson | Business Insider ) Kmart, Big Lots, Ace Hardware, Family Dollar, Old Navy, Michaels, Toys R Us, Walmart, Best Buy, Macy’s Kohl’s, JC Penny, Sears, Belks, Office Max, Staples, Target, Dick’s sporting Goods.
(Some even stayed open 40+ hours starting on Thanksgiving) Overnight Scheduled stores: Belk, Best Buy, Costco, Dick’s Sporting Goods, GameStop, JC Penny, Kmart, Kohl’s, Macy’s, Old Navy, Office Max, Sears, Target, Toys Are Us, Walmart
There were some people who would have loved to be at a family dinner table on Thanksgiving. They would also be thankful just to be alive….our men and women in Afghanistan and around the world. A special meal is traditionally made for them where they are…and in some cases the officers serve the enlisted. Nothing…nothing would take the place of being with family…not even a mall.
This week we are giving thanks for many things that we have in life. Recently I saw a video…just 5 minutes long…photographed by Ward Miles’ father who is also giving thanks to God and to the marvelous medical care we have here in America.
Little Ward was born over 3 months early. One can only marvel at the many tubes and care that was keeping him alive. The care of nurses and doctors…and the love of parents…all brought this little boy… not only into the world of the living, but thriving by his first birthday.
This is what his father had to say about Ward Miles and his first year.
“This video sums up my son’s first year. He was born way too early, and the obstacles he had to overcome were really big, but not bigger than our God.
This is a story of a mother’s love for her baby.
A year ago from this Halloween he came home. I made this video to commemorate his first year and how far he has come. Today happens to be his mother’s birthday… so I made this as a gift to her.
I want to thank all the doctors, nurses, and staff all over the world that make it their life’s mission to help babies get better! It’s because of you that my son ever stood a chance to make it home!”
I share with you now, the MIRACLE OF LIFE from Mail OnLine with pictures and video. (Benjamin Miller, the father of Ward Miles, is a photographer that works under the name Benjamin Scot. Pictures shown are made by him.) Click on Tribute to Mother and Child.
If you have children…or grandchildren, you may be surprised at how much the entertainment industry has captured the minds of our society. Regardless of age, young children, teens, young adults; mothers and fathers are absorbing into their mind and brain a sickness…VIOLENCE.
Just this week, a person who was mentally ill and said to have absorbed himself in violent videos, killed many employees at the Navy Yard near the Capitol in Washington, D.C. Just a few days later, families in Chicago are out at a park, watching a ballgame…when many of them are shot, including a small three-year old boy, by violent gang members. These are only a few examples of the hundreds of tragic incidents that have happened within our society just in 2013.
This violence is often blamed on the fact that we are allowed to have fire arms in the United States..when actually it is the sickness allowed in the homes, schools, theaters, t.v…and in the game world….all in the name of free speech and free enterprise. The Supreme Court is not going to help families in this area as they just struck down California’s ban on the sale of violent video games to minors. Well, who would want the government telling us what we can buy…or allow children to watch….for that is what parents do….right?
Tonight the news reported that within 24 hours a new video game, Grand Theft Auto V, earned $800 million dollars…and closing in on a billion. This is a video filled with interactive violence..murder, torture, prostitution,rough language and much more in which the player interacts. All this for a price of $60. It is supposed to be sold to those 17 and older…being rated as for the “mature”. Of course, the 17-year-old has little brothers and sisters who will play it with him/her.
This is what was written about the earlier versions of Grand Theft Auto: “The Grand Theft Auto series has sparked controversy, criticism, and even lawsuits for its violence, sexual content, and graphic imagery. The 2008 and 2009 version of the Gamer’s Edition of the Guinness World Records listed it the ‘most controversial video game series in history, with over 4,000 articles published about it, which include accusations of glamorizing violence, corrupting gamers, and connection to real life crimes.”
The biggest shocker is when CBS News interviewed some parents who were buying this new game for their 13 and 17-year-old children. The mother said, “He knows that I don’t like it..but I buy it because all his friends have it.” WHAT!!??
- You are parents and have to teach your children what is acceptable in your family regardless of what other parents are doing.
- The minds and hearts of your children are developing and this is what their young brains are seeing and vicariously experiencing.
- Children and young adults with emotional issues are even more at risk.
Just this morning, another violent attack has happened in a beautiful shopping mall in Kenya. Will we wait to teach our children about shunning anything violent until they have to go to the mall with the fear that this type of terrorism will happen in American? They already have fears within the schools.
If we as responsible adults do not speak out and stand up for what is right in our society, we will see a continued rise in the cases of mental illness and violent behavior. RESISTING VIOLENCE STARTS AT HOME. Click below to view a video explaining the risks to our young people:
My last writing was about the landfills around the country seeing the death of pianos. Today I will share with you a very interesting story about a piano, a mother and father and a young boy. You decide if this was a born prodigy or if the parents desires to shape a child gave him this gift? What does this say to all people who are parenting these days?
Ariel Lanyi has grown up in Israel. His parents wanted him to be exposed to music from the first day of his birth. They did not want him to come home to a house without a piano, so they negotiated to buy one. Neither parent played the piano, but this little baby would grow up hearing music of the great masters from day one. Little did they know what this would do to his life.
The parents had confidence and the child had exposure. Maybe this is the answer to our educational problems in the USA. and perhaps around the world. The involved parent…the dedicated parent…the parent who cares may be the greatest gift a child can have in his or her life time. It may mean the difference between a child seeking acceptance outside the home…even for some a life of crime and violence or developing the God-given talents that he has been placed deep within his mind and heart. We might even say God-given and parent-given.
Not every family can afford to give a child the best of everything, but they can give of themselves and foster the talents that are there. At first Ariel taught himself to play the piano because it was there for him to reach before the age of three. Later he would have lessons. His father was amazed that Ariel knew at a very young age what key a piece of music was being played.
The video below will introduce you to a family that provided confidence as well as exposure to the world of music. This boy is now being called a prodigy or even a genius. He does not like those terms, but nevertheless believes that he may truly be a genius someday. I would guess that he will be and it started with a mother and father who said that they could not take him home to a house without a piano. Oh, for the family that would love to have one of those pianos in the landfills. (See previous writing for the full story.) It is also interesting to know that Ariel, who is now a teenager, also speaks fluently Hebrew, English and Russian.
After you view video 1, be sure to come back to video 2 to see Ariel perform on the piano.
VIEW VIDEO#1 “I WILL BE A GENIUS…BUT NOT YET.”
VIDEO#2 CONCERT BY ARIEL LANYI
Recently Mayor Nutter of Philadelphia gave an address to the people of his city. It is certainly memorable with many values that people of all races grew up with and believe in today. Take the time to listen to him. It may be an important message for many cities around America and countries where violence and the idiotic runs rampant. It has nothing to do with style, but the attitudes and disrespect of our world citizens. Parents take heed.
Click here to listen